Tag Archives: relationships

PIP Title Means What? #agreesharon

#agreesharon

Life is filled with so many interesting moments that I decided to create a weekly conversation starter around one of the more entertaining observations made during the previous week. Nothing too complicated — fun to see how people answer the question.

 Let me know what you think.

out of date clockA business acquaintance recently referred to herself as a PIP – a “Previously Important Person”. While I chuckled, I was also saddened by the expression. With the daily transitions that each of us are making through professional responsibilities, child-rearing, parent caregiving, volunteer roles and more, we will often move into and out of the spotlight.

How can we avoid feeling like we were “previously important”? 

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Courage can include Fear

#agreesharon
Life is filled with so many interesting moments that I decided to create a weekly conversation starter around one of the more entertaining observations made during the previous week. Nothing too complicated — fun to see how people answer the question.
Let me know what you think.

Nelson Mandela  is  credited with saying that ” Courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. Real confidence is acknowledging fear and moving forward anyway.”

It has been years since I went to a sketch class and so it was great fun and the awakening of many senses when I recently went to a Tuesday Sketch Night in NYC. I watched the rubenesque model take many poses with grace and sometimes sheer abandonment. And yes, she was nude. Talk about real confidence!!

michelangelo_libyan

The experience was a strong reminder that we must each get beyond the mind-chatter. To march to our own definitions of success…not the societal definitions of perfection.

Go out and do something courageous today!

Let’s Get Specific #agreesharon

#agreesharon

Life is filled with so many interesting moments that I decided to create a weekly conversation starter around one of the more entertaining observations made during the previous week. Nothing too complicated — fun to see how people answer the question.

 Let me know what you think.

Dealing with a high-stress situation a few years back, I shared my woes with a friend who responded in generic terms about how everything would work out and “this, too shall pass”. Anxious for assistance and simultaneously scared to put “labels” on the situation at hand, the generic nature of my friend’s response infuriated me. I had no doubt in her desire to help me; it was obvious that she did not want to overstep any undefined boundaries in the friendship.

Instinct took over. I found myself getting pretty specific in defining the resources that I required. I then took it another step further and defined the people in her own network that I wanted her to call — on my behalf. A series of phone calls, emails and text messages soon followed — on my behalf. By better defining what I needed, I had empowered my friend to help me solve the problem. And, she was as excited as I was when the puzzle pieces starting coming together.

Did you have a situation this week where you clearly defined what you needed from another person?

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Make like a honey-bee!

#agreesharon

Life is filled with so many interesting moments that I decided to create a weekly conversation starter around one of the more entertaining observations made during the previous week. Nothing too complicated — fun to see how people answer the question.

Let me know what you think.

honeybee 1Waiting on a store check-out line, I listened to the telephone conversation of the person standing behind me. The dialogue was around customer service. “ I want my customers to receive the best possible customer service from my staff. At the same time”, he continued, “I will not allow my own staff to be bullied or intimidated.”

It seems that a staff member was upset because the customer’s approach was something like: “This is what you will do to correct the situation now” as opposed to “I would like to see you do the following to make good on the situation. What would be the next steps for this to take place?”

In your own dealings: Do you ask them OR tell them what you want?  As my father-in-law used to say: You get more with honey than vinegar! Now, go make like a honey bee.

 

 

A Cargo Perspective

#agreesharon

Life is filled with so many interesting moments that I decided to create a weekly conversation starter around one of the more entertaining observations made during the previous week. Nothing too complicated — fun to see how people answer the question.

Let me know what you think.

People have different perspectives on how to keep track of  their precious cargo. Imagine the following two scenarios which took place on a major midtown Manhattan avenue.

  • First, I see a young fashionably-dressed woman talking on her cell phone while a toddler waddles behind her. She is walking somewhat sideways so as to keep an eye on the child, however there is a distance between the two of them that measures somewhere between one-third and one-half city block.ducks walking
  • A few minutes later, I see a young man walking down the street. He looks like a sweaty tightrope walker. He is balancing some 6 (very large) trays of eggs in his arms.

Doesn’t it seem that the transportation method should have been switched up in these scenarios?

In the described situation, would you have said something to the young woman? Would you have offered to help the young man?

OR, would you have power-walked past both of them?

I Went to School….#agreesharon

 

Life is filled with so many interesting moments that I decided to create a weekly conversation starter around one of the more entertaining observations made during the previous week. Nothing too complicated — fun to see how people answer the question.

       Let me know what you think.

Pre-School_GraduationImagine you are having one of those exploratory networking conversations with someone….both participants have a solid 20 years of professional work experience. One person kicks off the introduction by saying: Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I went to school….

Really! With twenty years of work experience…why would you begin the conversation with your school history? Keep in mind: (1) We do not share an alma mata and (2) You did not recently acquire a new credential in your industry or in a new industry.

Why would someone set the tone with this introductory statement?

How Do I Trust Thee in the Workplace: Let Me Count Five Ways

How Do I Trust You?
For many, the answer could not be simpler: I trust you or I do not trust you. Who cares how you define it?

I propose that the answer is not quite so simple:
• Trust is a cornerstone of creating change
• Trust requires a relationship between two or more people; Not all relationships are created equal
• Trust implies that even when you, yourself, are uncertain of something….the other party (parties) will help you to uncover the issues and direct you to a solution
• Trust involves a leap of faith; it is easier to speak about trust than to “do trust”
Hence, just like we have various types of power, types of love and types of communication….we have numerous types of trust in the business setting. The person that you trust to run your medical office is not necessarily the same person that you trust to decorate your home, edit your son’s college application or help you with your retirement planning.

Here are FIVE KEY questions to understand trust in a professional working environment:

1. Do you have Professional Trust?
Professional trust in the business setting is often a function of dependability.
• Will you deliver what you promised/exceed the expectations of what you promised?
• Are you a team player?

2. Do you have Rules-Based Trust?
This refers to the trust that people have in the rules of society. For example: people politely form lines when walking up stairs; they avoid eye contact on crowded buses and they superficially begin most conversations with the expression:” How’ya doing?”

In previous work environments, rules based trust said that if we work very hard and demonstrate loyalty to one employer, our efforts will be recognized in status, salary and security. In today’s environment, those rules have changed. Hard work is a function of one’s personal drive to achieve and those achievements are portable into other situations, employment or entrepreneurship.

3. Do you have Situational Trust?
This reflects personal experience and is assumed to carry forward to the current situation. It applies to both workplace and non-workplace forms of trust.
• We trust our management team to provide guidance and support to us in meeting our objectives;
• We trust our educational systems to engage us in learning that will be valued in the marketplace;
• We expect that those we work with will be supportive of our personal efforts and responsible in the delivery of their own individual responsibilities.

4. Do you have Medical Trust?
I sit in the endodontic chair having root canal and trust that his expertise and his steady hand will get me through the procedure

5. Do you Trust Your Instincts?
This is another one of the trusts that have both workplace and non-workplace applications.
• You must have a level of trust in yourself so as to be able to trust another
• There was an Oprah magazine article that said something like “take advice as advice”. Everyone gives you their two cents, but you have to follow your gut.

Summary:
Trust is a special relationship that exists between two or more people. The power of trust is significant as it is the cornerstone of change, as well as the cornerstone of on-going working relationships. Not all trust is created equal. However, every form of trust deserves to be treated as the valuable asset that it represents.

How do I Trust Thee in the Workplace…Let Me Count Five Ways!

This blog originally appeared 01/2014 via #EQlist: What Every Entrepreneur Needs to Ask to be Successful goo.gl/d4XFwV

GIGO Networking

GIGO stands for Garbage in – and – Garbage out. It applies to the integrity of the data that you analyze, the food you prepare, and the gardens that you plant. Quality inputs have a higher chance of generating quality outputs.

How do we apply this in our daily lives? You walk into a restaurant and the bathroom is spotless, the air smells faintly of lavender….nice. And the assumption is that: yes, the kitchen too must be in good shape.  I am excited to eat in this restaurant.

How about when you move into an apt, a home or a dorm room? Did the previous resident leave it clean or are you finding the dust bunnies everywhere and an unmatched paint color left on the wall where some big piece of furniture previously sat. I remember doing the walk-through for the first home we bought in Bergen County, New Jersey.  You could smell the lemon-fresh Pinesol the minute you entered the home and every toilet had the scrubbing bubbles still perky and peaked. What pride, what TLC….the previous owners were moving elsewhere. The contract read broom-swept. These were people who cared about their surroundings even after they left. The message was “Welcome to this home.”

Shaping the next phases of my life, what message do I leave when I walk out of a meeting? Besides the professional capabilities that I bring to the table, do I come across as someone that would be fun to work with? Would I be empathetic to my associates? A team player? A quick learner?

A smart person can learn a new skill; a difficult person…. no matter how smart will be a diversion to the group.

How do we apply this to networking?

  • Be nice
  • Be generous
  • Be sincere

We cannot get an employment offer from every potential interview, nor can  we become the new best friend of everyone we meet…..however we can  leave a memory that says: That’s a good person. If I can help them out, I will…..

And, when you can do that, all the other advice about networking has a chance of succeeding.

Ricki Lee Jones said “You Never Know When You’re Making a Memory”

Guest Blogger @AARPNY. Tweets all mine